Nau mai, haere mai ki to matou mahi o ruma tahi me te rua.

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Narrative Writing

We are learning to write a narrative.
Our picture inspiration:

(Ball. M. (2005).  Footrot Flats: Sports Edition.  pp 129.)

Once there lived two boys called Harold and Dankata at the Kaikohe rugby field. Harold had brown hair and Dankata had black hair.  Dankata had a special rugby ball and Harold had brown skin and Dankara had brown skin too. Dankata did a big kick, the ball went in the sky and the ball got in the tree. Dankata had to climb the big tree. The ball  popped out. Dankata starts running away. The two boys had fun and one of the boys had a stuck foot and he threw the ball and then they got Harold’s foot out of the hole. Harold kicked the ball in Dankata’s face. The boys had fun kicking the special ball and he couldn’t get his gumboot out of the deep deep hole.  He had red boots with a black and white rugby jacket.  He was so fast he could get a try.  The two boys pulled Harold’s gumboot out of the hole.  They lived happily ever after.  
By Lukas

Once  upon a  time  there lived  a  dog  Jay, Mitchel was the skinny  one and  Jack the fat  one.  It  was  12  o'clock. It  was  loud  Jay  was  playing in the mud.   “Pass  it  to  me " said Jack,  “no  I  will  kick it to  you " yelled Mitchel.   So  he  did  and the  boot  landed  on  Jack's  face  but  he  took  it  of f and  ran  to  the  try  line, then he tripped  and  Mitchel scored  the  try.  
By Lakin   

All blacks
Once there lived two Ohaeawai football players, who played for the Warriors and the All Blacks. The All Blacks cheered for them. The skinny one is called Shon Joshin. The fat one is called Johnny Bo who has a dog and it is lying in the cow poo. The cow stood on Johnny Bo, he had to go to the hospital. Then Shon Joshin had to go back to the NRL.  Johnny Bo got back from the hospital and he could play rugby again but Shon Joshin wasn't there.  
By Brooklyn

Once upon a time it was a sunny day. The fat dude was Fin and he slipped over the ball, Then the ball hit Fin in the face. Fin fell over and Jack kicked the ball very high. Jack got hit from the ball then Fin got up and he picked up Jack . They went to McDonald's, Fin and Jack got chips and pudding. 
By Anthony


  1. Well done with your narrative writing. Including talking/speech made it interesting to read. Lukus, where did Dankata got his special ball from and why is it special?
    From Ms Bennett, Room 6, Park Estate School

  2. Hi, we can see that you enjoyed writing a narrative based on the picture. We really liked how you wrote the stories. They were funny. We really liked the bit about someone getting kicked in the face. Great capital letters and full stops! You could always try adding in some more adjectives. From Te Pihinga at Yaldhurst Model School.

  3. Hi
    I loved reading your writing. You are getting very clever at writing narratives. I was most impressed with your punctuation too. I hope you are going to write some more narratives for us to read.
    From Mrs Whitelaw

  4. Hi my name is Ashley from Ruma Ono at Kaniere School and I like your because it is a book. By Ashley