Nau mai, haere mai ki to matou mahi o ruma tahi me te rua.


Wednesday 29 June 2016

Partly Cloudy

Last week we used this cute little video to inspire our writing. We watched it scene by scene and the children had to describe what they saw using descriptive language and ensuring they had a full stop and capital letter for each sentence.




Partly Cloudy

The bird quickly swooped down to give the gift to the huge dog. Swiftly they swooped through the white shiny clouds. The birds house was the clouds. They have lightning hands. The cloud made a puppy out of a cloud and grabbed the cloud off the puppy and gave it a bone. The dark cloud made a crocodile and then it bit his finger then the bird came over and the cloud wrapped it up and gave the bag to the bird. The goat quickly charged into his stomach. Then the cloud put it in a bag. Slowly the bird picked it up and the goat was jumping around. The hedgehog's spikes poked his wings. The bird came back quickly and saw the shark. The dark cloud squashed the shark and made a storm. But the bird came over with football stuff. Then the cloud made an electric eel.

By Traeh

Speedily the bird dropped the bag down here was a cat. The bird slowly found a cloud house. The cloud made a real pet with magic. One cloud was all by himself and the cloud went to make a baby. The cloud made a baby crocodile and the bird came and the crocodile bit the bird's face. The cloud made a baby goat. Boom!! The bird got hit on the tummy. The goat was in the bag and the goat kept hitting the bird on the face. The cloud made a hedgehog and the bird came back and the cloud pulled the spikes out. Slowly the bird went away from the cloud. The cloud was sad and he looked at another cloud. The bird came back and the cloud made an eel.

By Anthony

Slowly the crazy brown bird laughed through the wind. Lazily the cloud grabbed the zooming birds. Loudly they turned on the lightning and struck the clouds. Sadly the cloud cried out rain.
Finally the crocodile jumped on the brown bird. The teeth from the crocodile bit him.
The bird gazed up at the white cloud. The hedgehog jumped on the bird. Quickly the bird flew away when he saw the shark. Angrily the cloud started to cry. Happily the bird flew back with armour.

By Sunita

Quickly I saw birds swerve through the gentle wind. Happily the white birds burst off power lines and flew through the pink clouds. The clouds were like fluffy people that make presents. They all made cute little animals except for the grey cloud. He made a crocodile and it nearly bit the white bird's head off. The bird that helped the grey cloud was bald and it could hardly fly. The white bird came back to the grey cloud. The cloud had a surprise and it was a goat and it ran into the bird. He came back again and the grey cloud made a hedgehog, a spiky one too, and it pricked the bird. Sadly the white bruised bird flies up to a white cloud. Sadly the cloud split with tears and burst with lightning. The bruised bird came back with amour on just to keep it safe.

By AnneLise


12 comments:

  1. HI i'm Waiheke from kawakawaprimary and that's sad and funny

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  2. HI i'm Waiheke from kawakawaprimary and that's sad and funny

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  3. Hi room 2
    I loved your stories they were great.Your adjectives and hooks where powerful.
    from Indi

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  4. hi sunita annilisa and anthone and tray I like all your writing's I like them all they are really cool

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  5. Kia ora Room 2,
    This is Room 13 from Kawakawa Primary. We watched your video and then we read your descriptive writing. It was fabulous because you all used great adverbs and also onomatopoeia. Thank you for sharing your writing. We hope to see more soon.

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  6. HI my name is Awatea from Kawakawa primary school. I really like that video it was really cool love the baby that the seagull flue. CUTE.

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  7. HI my name is Awatea from Kawakawa primary school. I really like that video it was really cool love the baby that the seagull flue. CUTE.

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  8. Hello my name is Anthony from Kawakawa Primary School and your writing is very descriptive and interesting but can you tell me a little more about yourself.

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  9. Kia ora from Ruma Ono Kaniere School in Hokitika. We like your descriptive writing and the video you have used to write about.

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  10. Hi my name is Ryker from Kawakawa primary
    Those kids look like there having a fun time and i wish i was there
    from Ryker

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  11. Hi my name is Mesake from Kawakawa Primary School. Your stories are really interesting to read, was it fun to write? Hope to see more.

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  12. Hi my name is Eden from Ruma Ono at Kaniere School and I like how you did your writing because it sounds really cool and I can make a picture in my mind.

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